Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Is it wierd that I know people that would be the human version of this:

Monday, November 29, 2010

Why cats suck:

Reasons Why Cats are Not Good Pets

  • They poop in your house, oftentimes in a box, but sometimes on your desk.
  • They regularly vomit.
  • They will dismember any living creature, and leave it for you to find in the morning.
  • They intertwine themselves in your legs at feeding time, then get pissed when you step on them.
  • They do not do tricks.
  • Their idea of playing is batting around a string or stringlike object (Ex. Kitesurfing SLE kite bridle).
  • They have claws and will dig them into your flesh at a moment's notice.
  • They are floppy.
  • They constantly bump into things like door frames and your legs.
  • Their breath smells terrible.
  • They will attempt to sit on the computer keyboard without regard for life or limb.
  • They do not like swimming.
  • They are masters of sending mixed messages, like purring while biting you.
  • They like to get their disgusting fur all over your black dress clothes.
  • They are scared of stupid things, like plastic bags.
  • They are covered with hair.
  • Their tongue is covered with small spikes, having the surface texture of 40-grit sand paper.
  • They go ape shit whenever they see another cat.
  • They do not like The Clash. (Yes, this is True. Play the last track on Sandinista and see what happens.)
  • They bury their claws into your skin when they are happy.
  • They cannot catch a frisbee in their teeth.
  • They believe every canned good is cat food.
  • They do not like fun (Ex. moshing, surfing, motorcycle wheelies).
  • They wash themselves with their own saliva.
  • They do not bounce when thrown.
Naturally, my favorite reason is the last.  Test it out with your new cat though, just to make sure this list is foolproof!

Other reasons as to why cats suck:





Even more love,
Me.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Dear Kitty,
First of all, clearly right now school is a bitch and although you may feel you are being a bad friend, you're guilt proves to me that you are not a bad friend but rather just overwhelmed with homework and projects and shit that must take top priority right now as there are deadlines involved. There is no deadline on our friendship, it will last forever through eternity no matter what.
I do have a quick thought on balance. I lost mine just the other day. My legs went straight out from under me and I fell on my upper spine and back of the head on the ice. You'd think one that would be enough to do me in but it wasn't. I lived to slip yet again. This time falling in the opposite direction on my hands and knee, scraping my knee enough that it bled through my jeans. I'm still feeling whole, but I will admit my neck is a bit stiff and feels rather swollen. Oh and my knee is a bit tender.
I don't have as huge or intense a list of things to do as that, but that's what I felt like last week. It was awful. and I wanted to die. And quit school. And move to South America (so that I wouldn't have to worry about being homeless in the cold). I was seriously considering all those things (well, except for the dying one, although I'll admit a tiny thought did cross my mind about it). You will do great.
I wish I had a funny joke to tell you. My roommates and I had a Thanksgiving dinner party last night and this one guy who came over told a lame one I thought I'd share: "I'm as stuffed as a Thanksgiving turkey". Then everyone laughed politely. Or maybe they were laughing for genuine. Sometimes those lame jokes really hit the funny bone in some folks.
Also I learned that apparently in Great Britain instead of saying phrases like "that's legit" or "that's rad" or "that's cool" or "that's sweet", they say "that's safe".
Ok, gobble gobble, catch ya on the other side of the butcher's block.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

So here's the thing...

I am a terrible friend. I haven't talked to you this whole week even though I said we would talk. I failed. There is no such thing as a good excuse...except death...or seasonal affective disorder.  I have just been sooo busy- but who hasn't right? I guess I'm just not very good at balancing things in life. (I've thought about balance a lot recently and would like to hear your thoughts on it soon.)  Before Christmas break, here is what I have going on: (I'm paritally writing this to inform you, but also partially so that I can stay on track and remember all of the things I have to do.)
1.  9 more days of classes for the rest of my bachelor's degree career
2.  5 finals
3.  8 papers equalling about 40 pages of writing
4.  1 large presentation to the education department staff
5.  1 project- choreographing and dancing with some kids from the Boys and Girls club during a basketball halftime
6.  An entire science unit plan (lots goes into that)
7.  A presentation on my science unit plan
8.  4 more days of 7:30am observation at the Alternative School
9.  Find some time to sleep and eat

BAHHHH!!!!! What do you have going on? I'm sure you're just as busy!

  This is what I feel like right now...minus the smile....

Sunday, November 14, 2010

SAD

http://www.sad-lighthire.co.uk/page.php?pid=11= YOU CAN RENT THEM!!!!! YES!!!!
Happy SAD!
For all of your SAD needs!

okay....onto my science project...bleh


a SAD cat.

Monday, November 8, 2010

This picture makes me a combo of wanting to laugh hysterically and wanting to vomit at the cheesy propagandist nature of it:


Creepy Dolls

Just googled "Creepy Dolls". Here's some fun results:


DON'T HAVE NIGHTMARES

Here just think of this pic and all your bad dreams will go away:


Peace Kitty, love you!




Thursday, November 4, 2010

I happened upon some interesting little messages in the bathroom stall upon my bi-weekly trip to the Anderson Hall basement bathroom. I always have to go after that morning class since I have a full 3 cups of coffee in me. I'd never been in this stall before, but I'm glad I chose it today. I'd like to share: